I was feeling a little guilty this morning because I realized that I’m already almost 30 weeks pregnant and I’ve barely given the new baby so much as a shout out on my blog. I mean, sure, I’ll post the occasional belly shot or complain about alcohol withdrawals, but there’s been a big void when it comes to me writing about my pregnant feelings and junk.
I STILL have readers emailing me things like “Congrats – I didn’t know you were pregnant!” which is a lot different from last year when I was pregnant with Lila and people were emailing me things like, “OMG – we GET it – you’re pregnant! Now please stop talking about the placement of your placenta.”
And there’s a reason for that.
I am in complete denial that there’s actually a baby growing in my apparently (SURPRISE!) now not-so-barren loins.
Of course there’s been loose talk around the Mayer house about mini vans and nannies and man I can’t wait until after the c-section and I get my percocet fix, but the only action I’ve actually taken is to buy a fixer upper dresser on Craig’s List. Which, by the way, does anybody know how to cover up the smell of mouse poop?
We don’t even have a name. Friday night Nick and I took the girls to Chipotle and as we sat outside enjoying the cool autumn breeze and watching the sun set I said, “We really need to come up with some names for this baby.” To which Nick replied, “I know.”
Then we just continued chewing.
To get ready for the baby means it’s real. And – God help me I am so super excited we’ve been blessed with another little miracle – I’m scared out of my mind. I am still majorly scarred from being tossed into Satan’s circus when we brought Lila home from the hospital when Ellie was 16 months old.
I feel like I’m only just beginning to emerge from the haze of insanity now that we’re on a schedule, Lila is finished with bottles and Ellie doesn’t constantly try to end the misery of having to share my attention by running into oncoming traffic. The thought of going back there in 10 weeks makes my eyelid twitch. And this time will be like last time except Lila will only be 14 months old and a 2 1/2 year old will be thrown into the mix.
But this train has left the station and although it wasn’t the way we planned it, it’s how it’s going to be. Between Ellie using my stomach as her own personal Craftmatic Adjustable Bed and Lila using it as a teether (I’ve still got a lot of extra skin hanging out down there, people) this baby is already getting a taste for what life on the outside will be like. And who knows? Maybe it’s already decided it would be a win/win to just hang out in my uterus for another year or so.
I’m just saying no one really passed judgment on Moses’ mom for sending him down the Nile because she couldn’t handle it, and he ended up having a fine life.