|Don’t let the halo fool you.|
A few weeks ago my 3-year-old dropped her nap. It sounds so nonchalant when I say it that way; like it’s just part of life. It’s Thursday, it’s sunny outside and my 3-year-old dropped her nap. What you can’t see is that I’m actually hiding out in the back of my coat closet sobbing on my laptop as I type this post.
Honestly, I never thought this day would come. I’m still in denial. The first day she never fell asleep I thought maybe she was sick or something so I gave her a dose of Benadryl and a few Ambien. But when she woke up a few days later it was the same thing ole thing come nap time. Jumping, running, squealing, singing some song at the top of her lungs that goes something like, “if I don’t sleep… nobody will…scorch the earth…”
Nap time was my salvation. A thin little thread keeping me tethered to the world of sanity. Three hours a day where I could write, pay bills, clean the house, get dinner started, do my Insanity DVD… sorry… I can’t even type that with a straight face.
Three hours a day I could zone out and watch Kardashians while I surfed the web for videos of real ghosts caught on tape.
A friend suggested I give her a mandatory “quiet time” in her bedroom. It sounded like a great idea but after I would juuuust get all settled on the couch with my jar of peanut butter she would open the door and yell from the top of the stairs, “MAAAAAAWWWWWM CAN I COME DOWNSTAIRS YEEEEEEET!”
And the only thing worse than one kid awake is three kids awake.
I’ve tried everything. Pleading with her. Negotiating with her. Threatening her. Locking the door. Putting a child lock on the inside of the door. Taking the knob off of the door. Hiring a werewolf to hide outside the door.
She remains unfazed as she escapes.
And the thing is, she NEEDS a nap. She has this creepy lazy eye thing going on when she’s tired so she spends the entire afternoon with her eyes going every which way and it totally creeps me out. She looks like a chameleon. Not to mention the titanic tantrums she throws if Lila looks at her funny.
I can’t wait to rub this in her face when she has kids of her own and would give her left arm for twenty minutes of sleep.