"My poop came in the mail today!" I exclaimed to no one in particular. Of course the 'p' word launched my three girls from their burrow in the playroom, running into the kitchen with princess dresses flying, trail of Barbies in their wake to see said poop. They were only disappointed for a brief moment it was a pillow. Truth: Don't be fooled by their cuteness; my girls are ...
A Whole Mess Of Holiday Wonderful
Every year I make myself the same promise: Start shopping early so I'm not the asshole sweating it out at Walgreens on Christmas Eve wondering if my secret Santa would prefer windshield wiper fluid or blackhead scrub. The key part of that sentence is "every year". Unfortunately I'm not great at learning from my mistakes *pours more tequila in blender* and I'm sure this ...
Fireworks and Beer (And An Awesome Budweiser Give-A-Way)
This bit of tasty summer refreshment brought to you by the Anheuser-Busch Biergarten I've always been a little skittish around fireworks, probably because when I was a kid my cousins lit bottle rockets and shot them at my face. My only defense was to hide in the bushes, however, they quickly caught on and tried to flush me out by shooting roman candles directly into the ...
The Dirty Words (and an awesome give-a-way)
Last Sunday, in what some would call 'not the finest of parenting moments', my 3-year-old daughter belted out a cute little ditty in church as she shimmied down the aisle to receive communion. Jesus Loves Me? No. What A Miracle Am I? Not even close. Le Freak? I wish. I believe the song lyrics went something like, You know what to do with that big fat butt!. Of course ...
Stay At Home Mom Barbie (and an awesome give-a-way)
This workout wardrobe inspiration brought to you by Ross Dress For Less I don't know about you, but I was happy to see the launch of "Average Barbie". Not because I had any hard feelings toward skinny Barbie; I actually felt bad for her because she didn't have nipples and her crotch resembled a Pink Pearl eraser. But Ken's crotch is even more jacked up so it's not like ...