• Home

sKIDmarks

Poop Happens.

  • About
  • Where I’ve Been
  • Video
  • Contact

The Big Wine Trough In The Sky

November 3, 2014 · 4 Comments

Sitting in the carpool lane gives a woman a lot of time to think. Time to think about what she's going to make for dinner. Time to think if her yoga pants have exceeded their expiration date. Time to think about when the neighbors are going to start complaining because her unkept lawn is starting to encroach onto theirs. And, unfortunately, time to think about more unpleasant ...

Continue Reading

Filed In: Me, Motherhood, Nick / Tagged: bathe them, final wishes, Nick

Vacation… Showtunes, Head Lice and Food Guilt

September 9, 2014 · 3 Comments

Sometimes I wonder if I ever truly appreciated vacation before I had children. Sure, I enjoyed the fact that I was laying on a beach chair or skiing down a mountain somewhere and not sweating bullets in a conference room full of assholes, but I also went to happy hour six days a week and was able to finish a meal any time I wanted. I'm not saying that people without kids ...

Continue Reading

Filed In: Friends / Tagged: Friends, lake of the ozarks, Nick, planet ozark, vacation

My neck, my back, pulled my sciatic and my crack

August 7, 2014 · 3 Comments

Two weeks ago, I pulled a muscle in my back while playing Cirque Du Soleil in the playroom with my kids. Looking back, I realize that perhaps a game involving body contortion wasn't the best choice for a woman who has birthed three kids in thirty months.  My back has never really returned to what most people would consider "functional" since this mess: That's me at eight ...

Continue Reading

Filed In: Motherhood, parenting, stay at home mom / Tagged: back injury, cirque du soleil, Nick, vacation

The Vacation That Came So Close To Ending In Murder

February 10, 2014 · 6 Comments

  Our vacation last week started out like every other vacation I've ever taken - with me ferociously cleaning the house that we wouldn't set foot in again for six days.  I'm not sure why I feel the need to scrub the enamel off the toilets when I leave town; it might have something to do with being 99% sure every plane I step onto is going to go down in flames.  And I'll be ...

Continue Reading

Filed In: Marriage Stuff, Nervous breakdowns, Nick / Tagged: isla mujeres, nervous breakdowns, Nick, vacation

It’s Called A Boob. Now Take Your Finger Off My Nipple.

January 14, 2014 · 5 Comments

When it comes to explaining matters of the flesh to our children, my husband is infinitely more qualified than I. He is in the medical field, and it's not uncommon for him to read his anatomy books to them as bedtime stories.  Everything is all blah blah brain stem, blah blah uterus.  The way he explains things as he's answering their questions it sounds like he's teaching ...

Continue Reading

Filed In: Breastfeeding, Family, Favorite 3, kids, Motherhood, Nervous breakdowns, Nick / Tagged: breastfeeding, Family, kids, motherhood, nervous breakdowns, Nick

Previous Entries
Winner of the 1998 Mid Rivers Mall M.C. Hammer dance contest
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • RSS
  • Twitter

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Search

Today’s Top 10

  • I Want To Throw Myself Into Traffic: An Essay On…
  • Making A Murderer – The Cliffs Notes
  • My Period Starts Tomorrow So Here’s A List Of…
  • I Guarantee My Summer Break Sucks Worse Than Yours…
  • The Wonderful, Awful, Lucky, Cursed, Beautifully…
  • Hannah’s Ho Ho Ho Gift Guide
  • Dear Dad at the Pool, You’re Doing It Wrong.
  • Twenty Questions
  • Mecca lecca high mecca hiney ho
  • The Day I Killed The Elf On The Shelf: A Holiday Card

Archives

Built by Beyond Blog Design · Built on the Genesis Framework

Theme by 17th Avenue · Powered by WordPress & Genesis