I didn't send out Christmas cards this year because 2016 got me like: I can barely listen to the Christmas station without wanting to give the radio a double bird. Each time I sat down to put our shiny, happy picture on a card with the headline, "Best year ever!" I wanted to vomit. "Maybe I'll feel less repulsed at... well everything... tomorrow," I thought to myself every ...
He Sees You When You’re Sleeping
If you didn't have a chance to buy the amazing book I was a part of last year, Scary Mommy's Guide To The Holidays, you can finally stop bathing in guilt because I am gifting you with my chapter below. It's about how to scare the crap out of your kids while staying within the boundaries of good parenting. You're welcome. The idea of a strange bearded man breaking ...
Hannah’s Ho Ho Ho Gift Guide
Every holiday season I cringe at how much time is spent stressing about what gifts to buy for my family and how little time is spent reflecting on the true meaning of the season. I always pledge that this year will be different, but so far I've not had the balls to gamble on my Brother-In-Law's reaction when he opens a gift card for "10 Hugs And A Snowball Fight". I like ...
Plan B
Knock knock! Who's there? Not my will to live! This morning I (finally! oh thank god finally!) dropped two of my kids back at pre-school. They don't technically open until next week, but I figured they both have good playgrounds and aren't too close to busy traffic so I was okay with it. Speaking of which, I'm getting really sick of all these "laws" telling me ...
Happy Holidays From The Mayers
Dear Friends, Family and Random Blog Reader Strangers I pray every night aren't pedophiles going to steal my kids, Happy holidays! I thought I'd take a quick moment to share our many blessings and let everyone know what the Mayer family has been up to this year. 2012 kicked off my with OB prescribing me a healthy dose of Zoloft to deal with a bitch of a post partum ...