It's been interesting, becoming a parent. I find myself constantly comparing my kids' childhoods to that of my own. For instance, when I was a kid nobody was wearing their babies around, that's for sure. Except when they were driving, and that was only if the baby didn't roll off your lap onto the floorboard where you did your best to avoid smashing their face in with the ...
Therapy Line Item #3734
Lila's hair was increasingly becoming a problem. After taking the necessary steps to wash and comb it through, it came out looking something like this: And this ^... this lie... this one day a week beachy wave hyperbole is what kept me hanging on for so long. Because the other six days out of the week it looked like this: She is a back sleeper, and also part ...
Twenty Questions
I read somewhere that children ask an average of 250 questions a day. Take that, times my three kids, and you’ll understand why I have a permanent eyelid twitch and bring my wine with me into the shower. Most of the questions are easy and take little to no thought — “Why are you yelling at that guy if he can’t hear you?” Because he is driving like a complete ass hat! For ...
Hermit Crabs… WTF
First of all, try not to be jealous of my amazing life and that the most interesting thing I have to talk about right now is my hermit crabs. It is February, the school year is on auto pilot, and I've got nothin'. I'll run into friends I haven't seen in a while at the mall and they're all, "So what's new?" and I panic because I am digging so deep to find any shred of ...
Race Car In The Red
"So how are your... um... moods?" My doctor asked, as I fought to keep my nipple from peek-a-booing out of the open-front paper "shirt". My moods. The word mood is interesting, because it indicates feelings like happy, sad, mad, etc. Mood doesn't necessarily encompass the overwhelming desire to jump out of your car and commit murder when the person in front of you is ...