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January 18, 2018 · 2 Comments

Last week my sister-in-law and her husband brought their newborn baby over for a visit. They were about an hour and a half late, because newborn. I mention this only because it will be an important part of the story later. "Do you miss this?" my brother-in-law asked, his glassy, sleep deprived eyes shifting to his 3-week-old baby in my arms. I couldn't tell if he was being ...

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Filed In: Uncategorized

Rip Tide

January 16, 2018 · 14 Comments

Last summer I graduated to the big kids' table at the swimming pool. If you have children you'll understand what a milestone this is - years and years of swim lessons finally paying off as my girls were now able to freestyle their way from the diving board to the ladder. The clouds parted and a holy ray of sun was cast down upon me in my warm, dry lounge chair as I had ...

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Filed In: blogging, Nervous breakdowns

Why You Definitely Should/Should Not Pierce Your Daughter’s Ears

September 18, 2017 · 1 Comment

I always thought I was doing my girls a huge favor by not piercing their ears as babies. No judgment upon those who do - I just sit on the other side of that parenting hot bed. "I have no choice - it's our culture," My Puerto Rican friend told me, dumping Siracha sauce on her slab of pork, knowing full well her IBS was going to turn her butt into a jack hammer in 43 minutes ...

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Filed In: Lila / Tagged: ear piercing, kids ear piercing, Lila

The Wonderful, Awful, Lucky, Cursed, Beautifully Frustrating World of ADD

March 2, 2017 · 19 Comments

It's difficult to explain what it's like to have a child with ADD to someone who has never experienced it first hand. "Oh, it takes my daughter forever to put on her shoes and socks too. That doesn't mean she has ADD. That's just kids, dude." What my friends don't realize is that I'm talking about the literal forever. I could tell my daughter to put on her shoes and socks ...

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Filed In: Ellie, kids, Motherhood, Nervous breakdowns, parenting / Tagged: ADD, ADHD, Girls with ADD

The Day I Killed The Elf On The Shelf: A Holiday Card

December 23, 2016 · 4 Comments

I didn't send out Christmas cards this year because 2016 got me like: I can barely listen to the Christmas station without wanting to give the radio a double bird. Each time I sat down to put our shiny, happy picture on a card with the headline, "Best year ever!" I wanted to vomit. "Maybe I'll feel less repulsed at... well everything... tomorrow," I thought to myself every ...

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Filed In: kids, Motherhood, Nervous breakdowns, parenting / Tagged: bad parenting moments, christmas, christmas letter, elf on the shelf, holiday letter

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Winner of the 1998 Mid Rivers Mall M.C. Hammer dance contest
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