Me: Mom! My blog won a major award!
Mom: Wow Hannah, that’s great! I’m so proud of you! That’s wonderful! What did you win?
Me: Well, I didn’t actually win anything… it’s more like a recognition thing.
Mom: Oh, well, I’m still proud of you anyway.
Me: Beth! My blog won a major award!
My Sister: Oh god. Now the world is going to know about my explosive diarrhea. (yells to husband) HANNAH’S BLOG WON A MAJOR AWARD!
(husband in background): Oh god. Now everyone’s going to know that I’m married to the girl with the explosive diarrhea.
Ok, so maybe I was the only one swinging around the room on the ceiling fan while Ellie danced at my feet to the hypnotic Latin beats of Dora the Explorer from our primitive sound system.
But I found out this morning that I’m one of 10 big winners on the Momversation Fresh Voices search. I don’t want to brag but basically they crowned me Grand Master Lord Most Beautiful Blogger Ever. Along with nine other people.
And as I told them, I would like to dedicate this award to the most horrible person I’ve ever met in my life – my high school bully. Had it not been for you constantly knocking my books out of my hands in the hallway and telling me that you were going to kick my ass FOR NO REASON if you ever saw me outside of school I would have actually made friends and had something to do every night other than my English homework.
You can suck it.
Just kidding – please don’t kick my ass.