Ten years ago when I would pick up my friends for girls night out the first thing they would say upon entering my car was something like, “this party is going to be so crazy!” or “do you know what crabs looks like?”
Last night, as I tried to look as cool as possible rolling up in my mini van to pick up my three single friends, I was painfully reminded of my station in life when the first words out of their mouths as they piled in were, “is that a portable toilet?” Oh, which P.S. was followed by “I don’t think I can fit in between these two car seats.”
My transition into an actual adult is nearly complete. Which would be a lot easier to swallow if everyone in the world was on the same page. Last week, my brother-in-law announced he had proposed to his girlfriend on the same day that I had dinner with one of my best friends and she dropped the bomb that she and her husband are going to try to have another baby.
It was pretty much the worst day ever.
Don’t get me wrong – I love love LOVE my soon-to-be new sister-in-law and my friend having a third means more playmates for my girls. But it also means that I’m officially day old bread. Now that I’m married, and my child bearing days are behind me, I’m not going to be everyone’s focus anymore. Other people will get all the attention and all I can do is idly stand by and watch and maybe spread nasty rumors every once in a while about my friends in a jealous revenge.
And it’s not just my friends. I see pregnant people everywhere I look. Happy wedding parties taking pictures by fountains galore. And I just keep getting older, less interesting, and completely ridiculous when I try to wear the latest fashions. I don’t know about you, but when I wear those leggings it reminds me of one time I got really drunk at my sorority formal and walked around with my skirt tucked into my pantyhose all night.
However, I will say that I decided this morning that my new year’s resolution will be to focus on the positive and embrace my new elderly status.
That and also get a chin lift by the beginning of the summer.