My first clue we were on the brink of something amazing was when I saw the Westboro Baptist Church protesting in the street. Nick and I had traveled to New Orleans for a long weekend away from the kids and it just so happened to be Decadence weekend, AKA "gay Mardi Gras". We knew this because once our plane landed, everyone and their brother was eager to inform us. "Well ...
The Night Club
“I have to have back surgery,” I told my friend over dinner one night. The words tasted like mentholated arthritis cream in my mouth. She didn’t have to ask why, or what happened. Everyone who has a bunch of children knows exactly why and what happened. They break you. “Who are you going to?” she asked. “Dr. Weaver did my knees two years ago, but Jamie really loved Dr. ...
Shattered Dreams: The Huge Lie Of Free Time While Your Kids Are At Pre-School
The summer before my youngest daughter started preschool, I fantasized about what I was going to do with all the free time I had coming, making mental notes every time I drove by an antique shop; imagining myself splayed out in the steam room at our gym. “I’m starting to prune,” I would declare to all the other steam room moms with nothing else to do on a Thursday morning. “I ...
The B Team
This post originally appeared on Scary Mommy; republished with permission. Last Saturday morning, as I sat in a folding chair on the sidelines of my 6-year-old’s softball game, I began to wonder where all of this is headed. In our city, like most moderately sized cities, the athletic competition will only grow fiercer as she gets older. Which is scary because it has ...
Hermit Crabs… WTF
First of all, try not to be jealous of my amazing life and that the most interesting thing I have to talk about right now is my hermit crabs. It is February, the school year is on auto pilot, and I've got nothin'. I'll run into friends I haven't seen in a while at the mall and they're all, "So what's new?" and I panic because I am digging so deep to find any shred of ...