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Rip Tide

January 16, 2018 · 14 Comments

Last summer I graduated to the big kids' table at the swimming pool. If you have children you'll understand what a milestone this is - years and years of swim lessons finally paying off as my girls were now able to freestyle their way from the diving board to the ladder. The clouds parted and a holy ray of sun was cast down upon me in my warm, dry lounge chair as I had ...

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Filed In: blogging, Nervous breakdowns

The Wonderful, Awful, Lucky, Cursed, Beautifully Frustrating World of ADD

March 2, 2017 · 19 Comments

It's difficult to explain what it's like to have a child with ADD to someone who has never experienced it first hand. "Oh, it takes my daughter forever to put on her shoes and socks too. That doesn't mean she has ADD. That's just kids, dude." What my friends don't realize is that I'm talking about the literal forever. I could tell my daughter to put on her shoes and socks ...

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Filed In: Ellie, kids, Motherhood, Nervous breakdowns, parenting / Tagged: ADD, ADHD, Girls with ADD

The Day I Killed The Elf On The Shelf: A Holiday Card

December 23, 2016 · 4 Comments

I didn't send out Christmas cards this year because 2016 got me like: I can barely listen to the Christmas station without wanting to give the radio a double bird. Each time I sat down to put our shiny, happy picture on a card with the headline, "Best year ever!" I wanted to vomit. "Maybe I'll feel less repulsed at... well everything... tomorrow," I thought to myself every ...

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Filed In: kids, Motherhood, Nervous breakdowns, parenting / Tagged: bad parenting moments, christmas, christmas letter, elf on the shelf, holiday letter

Raising Girls: A Beginner’s Guide

September 2, 2014 · 2 Comments

Contrary to popular belief, I was ecstatic when my doctor announced in the delivery room that a third little girl would be joining our family.  I grew up with two sisters, and couldn't wait for my three daughters to experience the same excitement and volatility of being trapped in an emotionally unstable, explosively melodramatic, all-female shitshow. Plus we already had all ...

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Filed In: Favorite 3, kids, Motherhood, Nervous breakdowns, parenting, Sisters / Tagged: motherhood, Parenting, raising girls, Sisters, three girls

The beginner’s guide to surviving three babies in thirty months (also, an open letter to old men at grocery stores everywhere)

August 11, 2014 · 7 Comments

As my kids file out of my mini van like clowns out of a VW bug, it's hard to believe that a few years ago I cried myself to sleep at night, unsure if I would ever be able to have a baby.  But, thanks to the miracle of modern medicine, lots of prayer and Dongo the Voodoo priestess, here I am with a 5, almost 4 and almost 3-year-old beautiful girls. I've become so accustomed ...

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Filed In: Motherhood, Nervous breakdowns, parenting / Tagged: motherhood, nervous breakdowns, Parenting, three girls

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Winner of the 1998 Mid Rivers Mall M.C. Hammer dance contest
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