From the moment my kids could speak they have begged me for a dog. Which is unfortunate for them because: A. My husband is deathly allergic to fur, and B. I am at maximum capacity for cleaning poop. A shell bearing sea creature was not exactly on my list of 'things I need in my life right now', but I do appreciate the value of learned responsibility via keeping things ...
Raising Girls: A Beginner’s Guide
Contrary to popular belief, I was ecstatic when my doctor announced in the delivery room that a third little girl would be joining our family. I grew up with two sisters, and couldn't wait for my three daughters to experience the same excitement and volatility of being trapped in an emotionally unstable, explosively melodramatic, all-female shitshow. Plus we already had all ...
Threesy Peasy
Last week I was at the park on a play date with some of my Mom friends and - !HOLD ONTO YOUR HATS! - the conversation turned to our kids. Because the conversation never veers away from our kids. On play dates you are only legally allowed to talk about three things - kids, children and babies. Once in a while someone might throw in something about a cleanse. After play dates ...
The Heat – A Guide To Summer
And just like that, stifling humidity has pushed the winter wonderland off center stage and we wonder what all the fuss was about as we swat at a snapping turtle sized mosquito that landed on our face. Summer is not for the faint of heart, especially if you have little ones. It takes the mind of a lioness and the determination of an earthworm trapped on a hot sidewalk to ...
The Nap Trap
It was all but devastating when my now 5-year-old gave up her nap. For three years I planned my entire life, and the lives of others, around this sacred 2-hour period. Somebody is bleeding to death? Grab a band aid and wait until 3:00. House is on fire? Throw some water on it. QUIETLY. Run a leaf blower within earshot or knock on my front door? Die a slow and painful ...