I went black Friday shopping. On Thanksgiving. At Wal-Mart. Go ahead - accuse me of contributing to the erosion of the American institution. And I'll tell you that it was a lot easier than you might think to abandon a Thanksgiving dinner table where my 82-year-old Grandma is ripping twelve second farts to shop kidless with my sister while sipping on Crown and ...
The Scream
The screaming began approximately seven minutes after I put her in the bathtub. Which, if you have little kids, you'll agree is always somewhat reassuring. A scream means everyone is alive and able to get air into and out of their lungs. Prolonged silence is what makes a parent's blood run cold. The moment you sit down and actually start to relax on your back patio you ...
Threesy Peasy
Last week I was at the park on a play date with some of my Mom friends and - !HOLD ONTO YOUR HATS! - the conversation turned to our kids. Because the conversation never veers away from our kids. On play dates you are only legally allowed to talk about three things - kids, children and babies. Once in a while someone might throw in something about a cleanse. After play dates ...
The Heat – A Guide To Summer
And just like that, stifling humidity has pushed the winter wonderland off center stage and we wonder what all the fuss was about as we swat at a snapping turtle sized mosquito that landed on our face. Summer is not for the faint of heart, especially if you have little ones. It takes the mind of a lioness and the determination of an earthworm trapped on a hot sidewalk to ...
The Wedding Planner
Last Saturday Nick's younger brother got married, introducing a second in-law into the Mayer family fold. I think I speak for everyone when I say that I hope they wait as long as possible to have children so we aren't forced to make their deaths look accidental in order to avoid sharing our sweet in-law babysitter situation. Just a "suggestion", Julia *pulls index finger ...