This fall style inspiration is brought to you by Ross Dress For Less

Ross Hotness

You guys.  So far I’m down about 7 1/2 pounds – the weight of an entire person.  When they are born.  You can follow along with me every Wednesday on my Facebook page when I share the results of that morning’s Weight Watchers weigh-in.  I may also ask for encouragement, prayers, mojo, donations and/or voodoo.  Because I’m not gonna lie this sucks ROYALLY and I need all the help and encouragement I can get.

As awful as my mealtimes are, I will say that shopping is a lot more fun now that hangie downie thing on my stomach is beginning to retreat to the hell fires from whence it came.  I am starting to see the fruits of my labor, and those fruits are prominently displayed in this hot hot hottie dress.

I’ve partnered up with Ross Dress For Less to show you some of their new fall styles, and lemme just tell you… this little number was $16.99.

ALL THE YESSES.

Right now they are running a promotion on their Facebook page to help give you inspiration for some fall looks, as well as a $150 gift card give-a-way.

Here’s what you do:

  • Visit their Facebook page to vote for your favorite fall blogger look
  • Each week they’ll be sharing a different look and you’ll be able to vote up to once per day for your chance to win
  • Each week they’ll randomly select two $150 gift card winners

You could buy, like eight of those dresses for that.  Or some workout gear and keep me company while I yell at the pilates girl on my TV because she is a sadomasochist. 

DISCLOSURE:  I was provided services, goods and/or monetary compensation for this post.  All thoughts and opinions are my own. 

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Fifteen

9.14.14

Last year I was honored to be one of fourteen women to speak at St. Louis’ inaugural Listen To Your Mother show.  I was nervous because, like most people who choose to become a writer vs. a runway model, I’m more comfortable revealing my soul without people focusing on the fact that I carry 90% of my body weight under my chin. My friend Carrie came over to do my hair and make-up; you all helped me pick my outfit. The day the videos were published on YouTube I settled onto the couch, opened a fresh can of Diet Pepsi and hit play.  Though it was painful to watch myself on camera, I was relieved that everything on my body appeared to be in its intended place and I didn’t have any visible boogers. But then I started talking.  It looked like I was missing my bottom tooth. “WTF?”  I thought, my hand flying to my mouth to see if I had somehow missed my bottom incisor removing itself from my gum.  Nope, still there.  Was it just camera shy?  I ran to the mirror and noticed that it was there, but evidently over the past twenty years had shifted back into its preferred position – horizontal.  Sort of like my sisters.  Opah! I’ve been slightly preoccupied the past several years, and keeping three little […]

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To Lillian On Her Fourth Birthday

9.11.14

Dear Lila, A few weeks ago we were eating breakfast at a restaurant when a middle aged woman timidly approached our table. “You have beautiful girls,” She said. “Thank you!”  I postured, anticipating the motherly compliments that usually come with taking you and your sisters out in public. “I have two sisters,”  She continued.  “And that one…” she paused, pointing at you. “THAT one was born with a gift.” “Go on…”  I said, stuffing a sausage link in my mouth. “She’s your middle girl.  That’s special.  She’s going to grow up instinctively knowing how to be a leader and a follower.  How to protect and how to be vulnerable, asking for help when she needs it.  How to admire and appreciate someone who can do what she can’t, and how to teach someone how to do what she can.  She’s really lucky.  Not everyone gets that gift.” And just like that, she totally shattered the stigma I had always associated with being the middle child.  The guilt I carry around that it’s you who gets overlooked, lost in the shuffle, doesn’t know what role she’s supposed to play. But you’ve always known, even if I haven’t.  Your role is to make us all laugh.  To hop around instead of walk while you squeeze my hand and give random strangers high fives as you prance by […]

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Vacation… Showtunes, Head Lice and Food Guilt

9.09.14

Sometimes I wonder if I ever truly appreciated vacation before I had children. Sure, I enjoyed the fact that I was laying on a beach chair or skiing down a mountain somewhere and not sweating bullets in a conference room full of assholes, but I also went to happy hour six days a week and was able to finish a meal any time I wanted. I’m not saying that people without kids don’t need a vacation – I’m saying that this morning I was awakened at 3am by someone fish hooking my nostrils with their little fingers. You know what I’m talking about. Last weekend we spent four days at the lake with six other couples which, let’s call it what it really is – group therapy. You wait all year to have an itty bitty little break from your kids, and within the first hour you’ve talked about nothing but ear infections and head lice and sports practices and the best foods to make kids poop. And for the first time in a long time you feel okay about yourself. Not totally sane, necessarily, but like you aren’t the only parent who spends their mornings counting how many more baths you’re going to have to give your kids before they can do it themselves. “Wait… you punish your kids by forcing them to develop, […]

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Honey, You’ve Got A Little Something On Your Chin

9.03.14

I first met my friend Rita in the Navy.  We were the original all-female team assigned to the F-18 Super Hornet, operating under code name Blisters.  It was sort of like a real-life Top Gun and, just like Maverick and Goose, we pulled some real shenanigans.  It was late one night in the mess hall, and over a bowl of stale gruel we realized that we shared the same childhood dream of one day becoming mommy bloggers.  Right then and there we made a promise to each other that if we ever made it out of that god forsaken war alive we would guest post for one another regularly.  Or at least once.  I started my blog here, she started a slightly funnier blog called Fighting Off Frumpy.  So without further adieu… here’s Rita, the war hero.     My name is Rita. I have four kids, two dogs, a cat, a mortgage, and one hell of a sweet tooth. Oh yeah, and a beard. Look, I didn’t ask for facial hair. And I didn’t always have it. (And I don’t have a mustache, thank goodness, though I keep my upper lip waxed just in case it decides to turn manly on me like my chin did.) I just have a beard. It’s not Duck Dynasty or ZZ Top-caliber, but it’s there – and since […]

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Raising Girls: A Beginner’s Guide

9.02.14

Contrary to popular belief, I was ecstatic when my doctor announced in the delivery room that a third little girl would be joining our family.  I grew up with two sisters, and couldn’t wait for my three daughters to experience the same excitement and volatility of being trapped in an emotionally unstable, explosively melodramatic, all-female shitshow. Plus we already had all of the girl stuff, which made things easier because I place an inordinate amount of importance on logistical household efficiencies.  Our boy name was Jessica, and Jessica was going to look just precious coming home from the hospital in his little pink gingham Lilly Pulitzer classic shift dress. But I’m tired of talking about our fake son Jessica.  Let me tell you what I know about raising little girls. 1.  Be warned – girls can be every bit as gross as boys.  Except it is freaking disturbing.  When hanging out with my nephews, I am surrounded by a cornucopia of bodily excretions.  Farts.  Burps.  Dropping trou and peeing in the front yard.  Poop talk.  Boogers flying to and fro.  Unidentified matter wiped on my pants.  It all seems very organic, normal and expected.  Because they are boys.  And boys are disgusting. But there is just something straight up haunting when a little girl with ribbons tied around her pig tails lifts her leg at […]

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A Little Diddy, ‘Bout Jared and Subma-ann

8.25.14

For reasons known only to God and the Long Island medium, from as far back as I can remember my lifelong dream has been to be a mascot.  I don’t have a particular obsession with a professional sports team; a random tiger, ground squirrel or Chuck-E-Cheese would have suited me just fine.  I think ultimately the appeal was the ability to act wild and crazy in front of thousands of spectators with zero potential for public humiliation.  There is safety behind the costume; total anonymity. Also you have complete license to randomly grab and eat people’s stadium food, and we all know how I feel about nacho cheese.  The only thing more delicious than nacho cheese is free nacho cheese. Fifteen years ago when I interviewed for a new job as a brand manager at an ad agency, I told my prospective boss that I would take the job, but if the Cardinals called I was giving notice.  He laughed.  I wasn’t joking. Fast forward seven years, and aside from a lousy commercial where I got to dress up as a grizzly bear with zero public fanfare (though I did take it home overnight and walk around the block a time or two), my mascot dreams went unfulfilled.  I was beginning to think it was never going to happen. That is, until one fateful Wednesday […]

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